i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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