so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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