it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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