don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
