she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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