There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
