I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
