Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
