Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
