The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
