Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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