this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize