Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
