What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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