On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
