i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
