I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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