: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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