Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
