And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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