so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
