He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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