the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize