if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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