Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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