Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
