yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
