i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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