yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize