I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
