get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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