Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We're too hungover to prance.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
