Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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