Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
