Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
