can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
