wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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