McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
