If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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