What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize