Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
