do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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