oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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