Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
