went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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