She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize