the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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