the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
