1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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