I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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