We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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