you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
