I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
