I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
