Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
