its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
