I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
