apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
