R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
