I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
